Worst. Road Trip. Ever.
Escaping with Reid Wentworth should have been fun, but how can I enjoy it when I just (accidentally) killed someone, my mom and brother are in danger, and the Consortium is trying to enslave humanity? (Yeah, they aren't fooling around.)So feeling something for Reid Wentworth was not part of the plan. Trying to help unite the Resistance against the Consortium means I can’t be distracted by hot boys.
The Resistance secret hideout isn’t exactly the rebel base of my dreams. Atraitor there wants me dead, but we have no idea who it is. And with both the Resistance and the Consortium trying to control me, the only one I can trust is Reid. If we’re going to have any chance of protecting my family, controlling my unstable powers, and surviving the clash between the Oculi factions, I’m going to have to catch this traitor. By using myself as bait.
Chapter Reveal!!!!
Chapter One
Josie
Three
days ago, I killed someone. A dozen times a night, and every time I
close my eyes, I see his body convulse as the bolt of lightning I
Pushed struck his body. I still see Santos’s face contorted in pain
before he sinks under the surface of the water.
I
opened my eyes after brushing my hair and swept my toiletries off the
faux-marble counter into my backpack. Stepping out of the bathroom, I
scanned the rest of the room for my belongings. My bra lay on the
floor where I’d dropped it the night before, next to the paisley
bedding. It had been beyond embarrassing shimmying that thing off
under my shirt when I was right next to my hottie bedmate.
I
plopped my backpack on the bed and grabbed my blue bra. It was still
dangling from my hand when the door leading to the parking lot swung
open and Reid smiled at me from the threshold.
Perfect.
Of course he walked in at this exact moment.
My
face flashed with heat. I scrambled to stuff my garment into my bag,
but the clasp hooked on one of my bracelets. Working the clasp off my
bracelet took way more effort and time than it should have. The
stupid thing was stuck. I peeked up at Reid to see if he was still
looking at me. Wrinkles formed in the corners of his eyes as he
coughed into his hand. He looked over his shoulder as he pretended to
hack up a lung to camouflage a laugh.
Sharing
the motel room with Reid, my trainer in charge of my safety, was
convenient and safer. But him being my kind-of-sort-of-boyfriend also
meant I was hyper-aware of personal stuff, like the time I spent
showering or Reid catching me staring at him constantly. I mean, we
shared a bed and were definitely into each other, but he’d never
seen my bra before – on or off.
He’d
now witnessed me wrestle with my undergarment – and lose. Which was
both slightly embarrassing as his trainee and absolutely mortifying
as his kind-of-girlfriend.
Reid
looked at me, his brows pulling up in sympathy. He crossed the tiny
motel room in three strides and stopped beside me. His warm hand
touched my wrist as he studied the clasp and gently unhooked it from
my bracelet. He caught my lacy bra before it fell to the bed.
Reid
Wentworth was touching my bra, and my boobs weren’t even in it.
What were the odds of that?
He’d
worked my bra better than I had. How exactly had he gotten his
bra-handling knowledge? The thought made me break into a full-body
sweat.
Reid
turned to face me. “I just turned in the room key. Cohen, my
contact from the Hub, called while you were in the shower. The Hub
gave us the green light to a safe house outside Flagstaff. We gotta
pack ASAP and get on the road. They want us there before nightfall.”
I
sat on the bed. “I’ll be ready in three minutes. I think I’ll
miss this room, though.” We’d only spent one night, but something
about it felt more secure than our two previous stops.
My
bra was still in his hands. I yanked from him. “Thank you.”
“I’ll
help you with your bra anytime. Just say the word.” He winked.
I
wanted to hide.
“Wait.”
He pulled his duffle to the bed. “You’ll miss the mustiness of a
70s motel in need of a major facelift?”
With
the bra safely tucked away, I bent to lace up my boots. “I know,
it’s weird, but I like this place.”
He
walked into the bathroom and came out with his toiletries. “You
like the wood paneling, the shaggy Muppet carpet, and an air
conditioner that’s louder than my bike?”
I
peeked toward the rattling air unit. Despite the jolting noise, the
curtains floated gracefully above the machine like paisley ghosts.
The
room seemed more hidden than the other places we’d stayed, nestled
in the woods somewhere in New Mexico. We drove highways instead of
interstates all the way from Florida to stay under the radar, but I
still felt exposed, afraid someone would see us. Now the mountains
and trees gave me a sense of coverage, of safety.
I
tied up my other boot. “Yeah, it’s old, but I like it.”
Hiding,
tucked away in a dark room, I could almost pretend I hadn’t
murdered another human being. Being around people reminded me that I
was dangerous, that I was an incomprehensible monster. Maybe I was
keeping others safe if I was hidden.
A
loud, deep buzz sounded, drilling into the recent memory of gunfire
and weapons, of people dying. My heart paused and I dropped to the
floor, kneeling behind the bed.
Reid
strode to the bedside table where his phone buzzed, but his wide eyes
watched me, worry etched on his face.
Duh.
Way to jump to conclusions. Chill
out, Josie.
I forced myself to stand.
The
phone buzzed again, vibrating against the wood and reverberating in
my bones. I blinked and jerked, almost an involuntary flinch.
It’s
just his phone. Get a grip.
But
a buzz meant someone was contacting Reid, contacting us. And any
communication was bad news at this point.
Reid
stepped to me hesitantly, as if he were approaching a skittish stray
dog. Understanding flashed across his face. “That will probably
happen for a while. But it will get better.” He touched my hand for
a moment, but it was enough to remind me that we were safe. For now.
I relaxed my posture as I exhaled.
At
my side, he positioned the phone so we could read the screen.
I
stared at the contact information, a line of pound signs. The meaning
of the symbols finally registered. The number was restricted and
blocked. I read the first line of the message.
This
is Meg.
My
body was numb. I couldn’t feel my fingers or toes. They didn’t
exist – or if they did, I couldn’t control them. I reread the
three words.
My
mom. I wasn’t sure I wanted read on. Not just because I didn’t
want bad news, but I didn’t want bad news that had anything to do
with my family.
Reid
bumped his shoulder to mine. “I didn’t think we’d hear from
your mother this soon after her last message.” His voice was quiet.
It
had been three days since I’d seen her face on her video message.
Three days ago seemed like forever, yet it didn’t.
The
phone buzzed again, making me jump, waking my body from a
fear-induced paralysis.
Eli
and I are redirecting to the Hub. 3 Founders need to be present to
make executive decisions for the entirety of the Resistance. If the
need arises, I have to be present. We should be there before you
arrive. The Council is unaware there is a mole within the Hub. Use
caution.
Hearing from my
family made my heart burst with sweet relief because it was
confirmation they were still alive and well. But fear squashed the
celebration, turning my blood to cement.
I
needed a minute to think. I couldn’t let my family go to the Hub
with no way to protect themselves. I shoved the phone out of my line
of sight, toward Reid. Instead of moving, he caught my hand and
whisked me around to face him. “Josie, I know that look.” He let
my hand fall. “If I take you to the Hub instead of the safe house,
not only will I be disobeying direct orders, but it could get both of
us, and possibly others, killed. You’d be giving the mole what he
wants – you.”
He
was right – the mole wanted me.
And the best way to get to me was through what I cared about most,
the people I cared about most. My family.
I
took a step away from Reid, the back of my legs hitting the bed. I
sank down onto the mattress.
I opened my mouth,
but I couldn’t put two words together. My thoughts jumped from the
mole, to my family, to the Consortium.
Reid
stepped in front of me, his sober expression replaced with brows
arched in concern. “Josie, I understand how you must be
feeling—more than you know. But I’m supposed to keep you safe.”
I
shoved off the bed. My knees buckled immediately and I rocked onto my
heels, falling back to the mattress. Frustration clamped down on my
emotions and I was ready scream. I couldn’t look at Reid, but I
held a palm up as I stared at the phone still in his hand.
He
gave me his phone, the text message already pulled up on the screen.
Then he sat next to me, making the bed dip under his weight. I read
the message again.
What
were my choices? If I went to the Hub, the biggest community of the
Resistance, I’d be trapping myself with someone who wanted me dead.
If I went into hiding with Reid, I’d still be hunted by the
Consortium. Neither option was a vacation.
The
muscles in Reid’s jaw flexed as his gaze traveled over my face. “I
know your family means everything to you. Eli shouldn’t have to be
involved in this.”
That
was the part I couldn’t take. I let my head drop into my hands,
slumping between my knees. The smell of bleach from the linens was
almost comforting.
I couldn’t wrap my
head around the fact that Eli would be staying in the same compound
as the mole, as the person who helped Santos try to kill me.
Swallowing the ache in my throat and the sting in my sinuses, I
willed away my tears.
“Josie.”
There was desperation in Reid’s voice.
Clearing
my throat, I slowly sat upright and lifted my eyes to meet Reid’s.
Reid
looked toward the window. “The Consortium wants all Anomalies dead
because we’re too dangerous. And since you’re on your way to
being the most powerful Anomaly on the planet, you aren’t just the
target – you are the freaking bullseye.”
I
wasn’t what mattered. Eli would be in danger. I was the only one
who could protect him. I was the only one who could protect a lot of
people.
Reid
stood and crossed the small room to shut off the air unit. A whole
new world of muted sounds came to life. A mourning dove cooed nearby,
two housekeepers spoke in hushed tones outside as they pushed a
cleaning cart on the cracked sidewalk, and a truck rumbled in the
distance. There were spaces in the new quiet, spaces with virtually
no sound but plenty of room for thought.
My
family was bait. Fury simmered in my stomach.
I
shoved off the bed and stepped to Reid’s side, making him look at
me. His eyes fluttered shut. “I wish I could just take you away
from all this.” His dark lashes fanned upward as he opened his
eyes. “But this is your decision.”
His
compassion for me meant more to me than I would be able to convey to
him. If this were a normal life and we were normal people, his care
for me would’ve been all I needed. But our world was anything but
normal. My safety didn’t matter, no matter how much he cared about
me. My priority was keeping my family and others safe. If that put me
in harm’s way, so be it. “You and I are more powerful than the
mole and we’ll out number him. Statistics are in our favor. And he
doesn’t get to use my family as bait.”
Reid
shook his head and something flickered in his eyes. He tugged me
against him, my chest colliding against his. My fingers dug into him,
pulling him closer.
Terror
trickled through my nervous system, seeping through every inch of me,
infusing my body. “I need to go to the Hub,” I whispered. It
wasn’t a want, it was a need. I needed to keep my family safe. And
in doing that, I’d be facing my own mortality. But what scared me
more was facing their mortality, Eli’s mortality. I’d already
lost one brother.
Standing
in front of the lone motel room window, our bodies bathed in rays of
morning sunshine, to anyone watching, we would have looked like we
were glowing from within, like superheroes. But superheroes wouldn’t
let fear cripple them like this.
Reid let his
forehead rest against mine and closed his eyes. “I don’t like
this idea for a lot of reasons. But I know that’s selfish.” Blue
eyes stared into mine. A sadness masked his face that I didn’t
understand.
“Sorry,”
I whispered.
He
pressed his lips into a tight line. “Let’s go.” He squeezed me
then turned to the bed.
“How
are we going to find the mole?”
He
zipped his duffle bag. “I have no idea, Josie.”
I
plucked my phone from the bedside table, the varnish of the dark wood
worn along the edges. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “You
need to know something. We
have
to be different in the Hub.” He shook his head. “We can’t, uh,”
his voice scratched. “We can’t do this in there.”
“What?”
I let my gaze drop to the ground.
“Josie.”
I couldn’t look at him until I was sure the sting in my eyes had
dissipated. “Josie, look at me.”
That
was my luck. My first boyfriend ever broke up with me on my birthday,
then my long-time crush ended anything between us before we even had
a chance. Two guys ditching me in under two weeks. That had to be
some kind of record. For losers.
The
shabby motel floor creaked under our feet as Reid dropped his bag,
stepped in front of me. “We have to play by the rules in the Hub,
and I’m someone who trains others to follow
the rules. One of the rules? No trainer-trainee relationships. A
romantic relationship between trainers and trainees clouds the
trainer’s judgment. So we can’t do this.” He motioned between
us.
Understanding
why didn’t make the rejection any less painful.
Reid
dipped his head, his dark hair falling forward, leaving an inch
between our noses. “Make no mistake, I love what we have.” The
deep line between his brows reappeared. “But going into the Hub
means putting the mission before us. And I’m all for it. We don’t
want anyone, including the mole, to know we have a relationship. It
would be used against us. A relationship in the Hub could hurt you. I
can’t put you in more danger than you already are. We can’t be
anything more than friends for now.”
He
was right, but that wasn’t going to stop the hurt. What we had
wasn’t just a two-week whirlwind romance; this was a lifetime of
growing a relationship. I couldn’t move. I’d lost my family, my
friends, my home. I’d naïvely thought maybe I could have the one
guy who understood what I’d lost and understood me.
A
weird pressure bloomed in my chest, but I had to ignore it. I had to
move and focus before tears fell and I was a puddle on the floor.
Besides, we needed to get on the road. I backed away from Reid. “Come
on.” Stepping to the bed, I flung my backpack over my shoulder. “We
have to catch a mole. Before he kills my family. Or me.”
Reid
snagged his duffle, his face drawn in worry, and opened the heavy
door, squinting into the bright morning light. We secured our bags
and our helmets, and I climbed on the bike behind Reid. I forced
myself to move as though nothing was different, touching Reid when I
had to without reservation. But everything was different.
Reid
turned the key, revved the throttle, and the engine roared to life
under us. Turning his head over his shoulder, his pale irises met
mine. “Last chance. Left to Flagstaff or right to the Hub?”
My
chest felt restricted, like I couldn’t pull in a full breath.
“Right.” I gripped his waist, anticipating the turn.
He
didn’t reply, but he moved his hand on top of mine for a second to
squeeze it. Bits of asphalt spat away from the tires as we headed
north toward the Hub in the Rockies. The wind whipped through my
hair, a flame of red twisting behind me from under my helmet.
In
Star Wars terms, I was Luke Skywalker and the Consortium was my own
version of the Empire who wanted to wipe out all Jedi. We were off to
join the Rebels – the Resistance in the Hub.
The
white line on the road trailed alongside the motorcycle, as if it
were holding our hands, guiding us. There was something comforting
about that white line. Even if it had to break, it came back. That’s
what Reid had been for me the last couple weeks – my anchor.
I
tightened my hold around Reid’s waist, pressing my body against his
back. The warmth of his leather jacket against my stomach combated
the cool breeze that had picked up the higher we climbed into the
mountains as our journey stretched late into the day.
An
hour ago, he’d said we would be to the Hub soon. I hoped for my
numb butt’s sake it was sooner rather than later. Despite the
peacefulness in watching the highway disappear in the mirror, the
growl and whoosh of each semi passing us in the opposite direction
made me flinch. With each flinch, I was taken back to the moment I
Pushed the lightning that killed Santos. My mind was stuck, replaying
the image over and over. The white light had temporarily blinded me
as it streaked down the oil-slicked sky to Santos, making me flinch.
Santos’ body had convulsed, his face contorted in horror.
No
matter what I had done the last few days, how often Reid had made me
laugh, or how much we’d kissed late at night, guilt and shame had
weaseled into my thoughts. The guilt-shame of taking Santos’ life
wasn’t letting up. In fact, it was getting worse.
We
rounded a bend in the road and my chest twisted as if someone were
ringing me out like a wet towel. My left lung ached like nothing I’d
felt before. Was it my lung, though? Or was it my heart?
Was
this what it was like as Santos drowned? Had his lungs hurt and was
his heart on the verge of explosion? Another picture of Santos coming
after me on the beach, a sick and menacing smile on his lips,
flickered in my mind.
Another
eighteen-wheeler passed and the lightning flashed in my mind again.
When the face came into focus though, it wasn’t Santos – it was
Eli.
Fear
gripped me and I beat both hands on Reid. That’s when I noticed my
hands were shaking, and my heartrate matched the rhythm of the
shaking, fast and sporadic. Frantic.
“Josie?”
he yelled over his shoulder. I couldn’t manage words, I just beat
my right fist into his back, holding on for dear life with my left
arm, hooking it around his middle.
Reid
slowed around the next curve then pulled off the road at a scenic
lookout. I jumped off the bike before it came to a complete stop,
flinging my helmet off of my head. The gravel crunched under my boots
as I ran to the edge of the lookout. Leaning over the railing,
bracing myself on my forearms, I hung my head as I concentrated on
deep inhales and slow exhales.
Reid’s
feet crushed the gravel as he sprinted to me. “Josie?” His voice
was a higher pitch than I’d heard before and it cracked at the end
of my name.
His
warm hand landed gently on my back. “What’s wrong?”
I
shook my head, unable to answer.
Santos
was a traitor. Santos tried to kill me. I will not be the reason Eli
dies.
A panic attack over
Santos and this mole and imagining myself kill my little brother. At
least that’s what I thought it was. I just needed the feeling to
pass.
I
held up a finger, continuing inhaling through my nose to the count of
four and exhaling through my mouth to slow my breath and pulse.
Santos
was a traitor. Santos tried to kill me. I will not be the reason Eli
dies.
I
wiped the perspiration on my forehead away with the back of my hand.
Reid didn’t force me to speak, but patiently stood behind me, his
hand still on my back.
I
eventually straightened, letting out a long, pain-free sigh. Finally,
I could breathe.
“Santos?”
he whispered. I nodded and my heart squeezed again just hearing his
name, but not as severe this time.
His
hand slowly roamed up to my shoulder. “Are you okay?” That was a
loaded question.
No,
I wasn’t okay, but he already knew that. He’d held me every night
when I woke screaming from nightmares. He’d listened as I rehashed
the Consortium’s attack on the rooftop after the serum handoff to
the vice president. He’d watched me grow up with my family and knew
they were everything to me.
I
touched my fingertips to his hand gripping my shoulder. I wanted to
throw my arms around him and burrow my head into the crevice of his
neck, the place I fit perfectly. I wanted to breathe in the smell of
him, a clean, musky scent, and feel his warmth around me. Instead, I
pulled my fingers away and nodded. “I’ll be fine.” The words
came out quieter than I intended.
I
finally raised my eyes to take in our view. A blanket of evergreens
covered the mountains surrounding us. “This puts Endor to shame.”
I wished it were Endor. No one would be hunting me there.
Crickets
had begun their evening song, serenading us, filling in the silence.
Moving forward, I leaned against the aluminum guard rail, the metal
cool on my upper thighs through my jeans. I kicked a spray of gravel,
rocks assaulting plants on the way down the side of the mountain into
the gorge.
Reid
stepped beside me, his presence simultaneously calming because he had
been my support since this whole mess started weeks ago, yet jarring
because he couldn’t play the same role anymore. I cleared my
throat. “This is beautiful.”
His
eyes focused on the mountains in front of us. “This is home,” he
said.
“Welcome
home.” I guessed this was my home now. Temporarily. Indefinitely. I
didn’t know.
I
stared at the place where the mountaintops kissed the watercolor sky.
Pink cotton candy clouds battled shadows gobbling up the mountains.
The sharp smell of pine reminded me of family camping trips – Nick
and I racing through the woods and stony creek beds. The scent made
me want to run, faster than I had ever before. Run to Mom and Eli in
the Hub and find the mole.
Running
to them also meant losing my relationship with Reid. As much as I
wanted to get to the Hub for them, part of me didn’t. Reid was my
older brother’s friend who I’d secretly had a thing for since I
was little. He was the one person I’d always wanted. How was I just
supposed to turn off those feelings?
Reid
turned to face me, his hand reaching for mine, but he allowed it to
drop before he touched me. He was afraid to get close. He was putting
space between us to keep me safe.
I
had to let him go. An invisible pain spread through me. I was a piece
of glass struck by a hammer. A spider-web of cracks hid under my
skin. I hadn’t thought being kept safe could hurt more than being
in danger.
I
closed the space between us, his face only inches from mine. His eyes
shut for a moment as he sighed. “Josie.” The word was drawn out
and whispered.
I
traced his jawline with my forefinger. I had to get close. I needed
it. I needed him. I shifted my weight forward to rise up on my toes,
to touch my lips to his, but then I stopped.
I
couldn’t kiss him when I couldn’t have him. I backed away,
instantly feeling chilly.
A
crease formed between his eyes. “We probably need to get going.”
This
was it. We were done.
I
turned to his motorcycle, but a Jeep had replaced Reid’s bike. Two
weeks ago that would’ve freaked me the hell out, but not anymore. I
opened the door of the vehicle and slid into the seat, limp and numb,
sadness weighing me down. I stared out the windshield, focused on the
mountain across the valley, but I wasn’t really seeing it. In my
peripheral, Reid scooted behind the wheel and sat unmoving for
several seconds. He hit the steering wheel with the palm of his hand,
making me jump in my seat.
Reid
turned toward me, his gaze intense. He swiftly slid his hand behind
my neck and pulled me to him.
His
lips crashed to mine and pressed my mouth open. The warmth of his
hand cupping my face and the grip on my waist, as if I’d disappear,
fused me back together, making me whole again. My fingers twisted in
his hair, pulling him closer. When his tongue swept over mine, my
soul ignited. Reid was the human form of helium, making me
weightless, letting me soar. We kissed until we were both breathless.
I
let my hands slip down to his chest, his heart thumping against my
palms. “Reid,” I breathed.
His
mouth hovered inches from mine. “That
is how I feel about you,” he whispered, his breath tickling my
lips. “I can’t do it. I can’t be without you. We’re stronger
together.”
I
pulled in a deep breath, thinking maybe I would fly away from the
brief high of overwhelming joy. “I need you.”
He
rested his forehead to mine. “You have me.”
He
moved the hand on my waist to my jaw, his thumb sweeping across my
cheek. “We can be together, but we have to hide it. It has to be
only in private.”
“Okay.”
He
glanced down to my lips. “And I can’t wait until the next time I
can do that.”
The
mere idea of there being another time he’d kiss me with that kind
of intensity heated my cheeks.
Reid
sat back in his seat, started the engine, and gave me his flirty half
smile I’d grown to adore. “Let’s go.”
I
flipped down the visor and peeked in the mirror. Some tendrils of
hair were wavy, some straight, and all of it completely out of
control. My hair might as well be Captain Davey Jones’ tentacles
from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
With
the next blink I Pushed and a hair band appeared in my palm. I no
longer felt like getting sick each time I Pushed or Retracted
reality.
Inspecting
my hair, I Pushed my strawberry blonde strands straight then pulled
it into a ponytail. Every Push or Retraction came with a price. Each
Oculi had a bank of energy that was limited and every manipulation of
reality was an energy withdrawal. When the bank was empty, it was
empty. Oculi were encouraged to not waste Pushes and Retractions on
little things we could do ourselves.
I,
on the other hand, was the daughter of the two scientists who’d
taken the amplifying serum. My energy bank, like my older brother’s
had, seemed to work a little different than other new Anomalies. I
seemed to have endless energy. In fact, I had to use my energy,
release some by Pushing and Retracting, just to take the edge off. My
energy had grown in the last three days even, almost radiating off me
at times. I’d only had these abilities for a couple weeks and I was
growing more powerful each day.
“Is
what I’m wearing okay?” I asked, checking out my retro Princess
Leia tee and holey jeans.
“Yeah.
You look…” He glanced at me as he drove and a mischievous grin
slid across his lips.
“What?”
My nerves were shot and we weren’t even to the Hub yet.
He
shook his head, smiling to himself. “You’re fine.”
“Okay.
I guess I’ll trust you on that.” Even though everyone at the Hub
would know who I was, I wanted to make a good impression. Everyone in
the Hub would have varying expectations of me, since I was the
daughter of one of the founding families of the Resistance. Plus, my
older brother had an Oculi degradation in the Hub, a rare consequence
of observing reality into existence. Our observations traveled
through the optic nerve to our brain. Sometimes our observations
could randomly fry our nerves, which, could lead to degradation of
the parietal lobe, cerebrum, and cortex. A possible side effect of
this kind of degradation was a psychotic break.
“You
can trust me.” His eyes locked on mine, this time not accompanied
by a smile. “With everything.” He turned his attention back to
the road, his profile dark against the waning sunset.
I
was banking on that trust. I wouldn’t be able to do anything
without it. “I need to make sure I have this straight. Right now
our plan is to figure out a way to expose the mole, possibly with me
as the bait.” I knew he didn’t like that idea, so I ignored his
serious side-eye and continued. “This guy wants me dead, so he’s
almost definitely going after my family. He may also try to take the
Resistance down from the inside. Aaaand, we don’t know if he is
working with anyone else inside the Hub, like he was with Santos.”
“You
got it, babe.”
Anger
seethed in my stomach as I watched thunderhead clouds billow from
behind the mountain peaks. Energy buzzed in my fingers. This mole,
this accomplice to my attempted murder, this orchestrator of the
deaths of innocent people, didn’t know what was coming for him.
