Title: Personal Experiences
Author: Tracy Lee
Tour Host: Lady Amber's Tours
WARNING: contains some graphic, dark scenes that are not for the light-hearted including torture. BUT DOES CONTAIN A HAPPILY EVER AFTER! Discretion is advised!!!
“The Personal Series”
Personal Experiences Book #1 Elleny’s story
Personal Possession Book #2 Trevor’s story
“Untitled” Book #3 JoJo’s story
“Untitled” Book #4 Luc’s story
I’m breathing heavier than I’ve ever breathed before in my life. Tears are running down my face and I had no idea I was even crying. I have to get away from here. I look over at TJ. He’s faceless. He’s staring at me as though he’s staring at that wall behind me. He’s not saying a word, he’s simply just a shell.
I turn around to walk away when I feel him grab my arm and turn me around and he picks me up
“What the fuck TJ?” my voice; barely there is rough and cracked. He doesn’t say a word just carries me toward his room. He opens the door carries me through it and shuts it with his foot. Not saying a word he sets me down.
“What are we doing TJ?” he just stares at me again. I feel him unbutton my pants, I hear them unzip as he pulls them apart.
“TJ, you can’t do this….I’m not begging.”
Still, nothing comes from his mouth. I feel him grab my pants; he slowly pulls them down to my ankles. He taps the top of my foot. I pull my foot out of my pant leg. He does the same on the other side, I cooperate. He stands back up and gently removes the chain from my neck. He just as gently removes my shirt. I’m standing there in my panties and bra. He goes over to the wall and hits the light switch.
As he’s walking I begin to beg “Please TJ….no, please don’t turn on the-“
That’s as much as I got out of my mouth as I look down at my body. I see TJ slowly walk up beside me leisurely running his fingertips as gently as he can over the purple, pink and green marks that cover my whole abdominal area. He circles around me studying my body, using very little pressure as he touches my skin.
I close my eyes, I can’t even imagine at this point in time what he’s thinking
“Shhhhh” that’s as much as I have gotten out of him in the last twenty minutes.
He circles around me one more time when he stops behind me. He unhooks my bra and come around the front of me. I have my arms folded across my bra. He gently pulls my arms down and I comply. He then goes back to my shoulders and pulls my straps down until it’s hanging from his one finger. I go to put my hands back up to hide my breasts.
“Don’t you even fucking think about it” he’s talking again in that low, terrifying voice
I drop my arms back down to my sides and turn my head to look away from him. He gently kneels back in front of me and slowly pulls my panties down my legs. I hesitate and begin to say his name but he beats me to the punch.
“Don’t say a fucking word”
He pulls them down to my ankles and again, I step out of them when he taps on my feet.
There I stand nude, bruised and extremely humiliated in front of the one man I never wanted to be naked in front of again.
Still kneeling in front of me he begins to slowly run his hands up my calves, then my thighs, he’s moving so slowly I’m wondering what he’s trying to figure out, how long the bruises have been there? Maybe he’s wondering when the last time I got my ass kicked was.
He reaches my stomach and rubs his fingers over my C-section scar from the twins, I squeeze my eyes shut. This is fucking killing me. He touches my ribs again, he makes his way up to my breasts, he just runs his fingertips over my nipples, they become hard and erect from just that little touch from his hands
He brings his hands down to around my waist and gently places his hands on my hips and pulls himself closer to me. He places tiny kisses on the bruising that covers my stomach. He moves over to my hips and ribs and places kisses on that area as well, he pushes himself back and moves to the other side and repeats. He eventually works his way back to the middle and kisses my stomach as though he’s kissing my uterus for the babies that I had been made to get rid of.
He doesn’t look at me but by the tone in his voice I know he is dead serious.
He whispers to my stomach, “I’m gonna kill him Elle” he stands up and doesn’t say another word. He walks nonchalantly into the bathroom. He closes the door behind him. I just stand there for a moment wondering are we done. Should I get dressed again? That’s when I hear all hell break lose. TJ is screaming, not saying nothing but just screaming at the top of his lungs. Glass is breaking, things are being thrown, and punches are landing against the wall. Toiletry items being pushed off the sink, landing and breaking all over the tile floor I hurry up and pull on my panties, shirt and shoes, I grab his shoes that I see by the bedroom door and I fly to the bathroom. I can’t see from the mascara tears that have blinded me. I throw the door open and see him standing in the middle of this enormous jumble of chaos that my words had created, I couldn’t keep my anger under wraps and I let everything except the most important secret out.
I look at TJ, he looks back at me; he’s huffing and puffing from the exertion, his eyes are bloodshot, his face is beet red. “Oh Jesus, TJ this is all my fault” I say through my tears. I walk over to him and ask him as pleasantly as possible “TJ….honey pick up your foot Sweetie, so that I can slip on your shoe, I don’t want you to cut yourself.” He obeys and I repeat the process of putting on his other shoe to get him out of this mess. We walk back through the bedroom and I grab some more jeans and a shirt for him. My clothes are fine, I grab them and head for the bedroom door. I open it and then shut it behind us and head for my suite so that I can get him showered and dressed, I did this; I needed to clean it up. We went into my room and I walked him into the bathroom. I went to the shower and turned on the water so that it could warm up.
I began to do what he did to me. I took off his shirt gently and when it stuck to his head I winced and apologized. I undid his pants and pulled them down leaving his boxers on. I removed his shoes before I pulled his jeans down his legs and then off his feet. Sitting on the side of the tub in his boxers I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable so I thought I’d leave it up to him
“Would you like me to leave while you get in the shower?”
“I’m sorry Elle”
I stopped what I was doing and just stood there
“I’m so sorry baby” he said as he bent down and grabbed my cheeks in his hands and pulled me up to him.
“Shhhh, TJ…..Sweetie, none of this is your fault”
He was restraining himself, I could tell. His voice was shaky, his hands were wobbly and they didn’t know where to touch me. He was controlling himself by limiting his contact with me. He knew he was on the edge, as did I.
He still had my head in his hands as he pulled me up to his face, he touched his lips to mine still repeating over and over again. “I’m so sorry baby” as I was repeating “It’s ok, everything is fine”.
He sealed his lips over mine and began to swipe his tongue all through my mouth as though he was wiping away all the bad Bear had done to my mouth and I allowed him too. His kiss became harder as he started to lose control. My hands flew up into his hair where I wrapped my fingers in to secure him in place I pushed him deeper into me. He broke the kiss and began to kiss down my neck with the lightest of kisses. “TJ babe, I’m not glass. As he continued kissing me he replied “Yes you are you should never have to hurt like this.” He began walking me backward as we passed by the shower he reached in and turned it off. I didn’t stop him. We continued walking straight back into my room. Our kisses so desperate for each other, we couldn’t get close enough. There was no turning back now. I couldn’t; I had to feel him within me. I needed to feel him. He curled his fingers around the bottom of my shirt, I lifted my arms to answer his unspoken question. I wanted him just as bad as he wanted me. We broke our kiss long enough to get my shirt over my head. My hands went down to the top of his boxers and began to push them down. His lips sucking my tongue deeper into his mouth, gently, he was nibbling against it. I unlocked my lips from his and was joined to him by my tongue and his lips. I smiled, this was my happiness. I felt his fingers dive into the corners of my panties when he let go of my tongue. “Say the words Elle, I have to hear them from you, I have to know that you want this just as bad as I do. This can’t be all just me” I looked him in the eyes for what seemed like minutes but was in fact seconds. I put my nose to his and opened my eyes to look in his and said it “Please TJ, I need you baby” he pulled my panties down and laid me gently on the bed. He continued kissing me as he reached down and pulled his boxers off. I grabbed around his neck and wrapped my legs around his waist and allowed him to drag me up on the bed where he had better access. “TJ honey, please, I’m begging you here.” He began slowly nibbling my skin at my throat and worked his way down. He licked my right nipple and I bowed up into him. He brought it between his teeth and bit gently; teasingly. He worked his way over to the other side and worked that breast as well. He sucked and licked and bit, I closed my eyes and relished the emotions pouring out of him.
“I’ve missed this baby. You’re still so beautiful. You will never fully comprehend what you do to me. ” As he’s talking he kissing, slowly working his way down. I’m just listening to his words until I feel him blow gently against my clit. I retract up the bed and pull my knees up to my chest and yell “No….anything but that, you can’t do that, no putting your mouth on it”
He sits back on his knees and looks up to the ceiling but his eyes are closed
“Elle baby, I’ve done it before on you, please I have to taste you.”
I continually shake my head. “No, anything but that you can’t put your mouth on it.”
Frustrated, he asks “why, why can’t I put my mouth on it?”
I put my head down on my knees and tell him “He says it taste disgusting, he tells me it’s not clean”
All at once, in once swift move he grabs my legs and pulls them down to him so that I’m now laying on my back. My legs are out to each of his sides and he’s got his face buried in between my legs. His tongue is flat and he is lapping up every drop of wetness I produce. “I’m gonna make you come with my mouth and I’m going to drink you up, you understand me Elleny? This is beauty. This pussy right here.” Lick. “This is my heaven”. Lick. “This is my sanctuary.” Lick. “My refuge.” Lick. “That mother fucker doesn’t even deserve to lay next to this treasure.” Lick, lick. “He will never in his entire fucking piece of shit life be worthy enough to put his fingers against this pussy.” He opens me up wider to get to my clit, he tickles it with the tip of his tongue. “Do you feel that baby? Do you feel how good that feels….my tongue licking up every bit of you? That’s how you make me feel. My mouth is against the most perfect jewel that will ever be found….and it’s all mine. The wealthiest of wealthiest men will never find a gem as perfect as yours. It’s so beautiful; pink and bulging, just for me Elle….every bit of it mine.” He continues flicking his tongue against me. I am crying. I’m not sure if it’s because of happiness, sadness, or because I’m getting ready to come or maybe a little of it all mixed together.
I unwrap my fingers from the sheets and run them through his hair. I push his head against me; I’m on the verge of coming so I begin to lift my hips up and down quickly against his tongue. “That’s it Elle, work that beautiful pussy against my tongue, and come all over my face. You look so gorgeous when you ride my tongue. Just as I am about to come he sticks two fingers slowly into me and that’s what it takes to push me over. I scream at the top of my lungs. It has been so long since I’ve climaxed like this, it’s overwhelming to me. He continues to lap up all my wetness, moaning that sexy moan as he does it. “Give it all to me babe, I want it all. Everything he’s taken from you. I’m giving it back.”
I pull him up to me and insert his rock hard shaft in me as he begins to push slowly into me. “Oh fuck Elle, I’m trying to take it slow, tell me if I hurt you”
I nibble on his ear as I whisper “Do it TJ, I need to feel you move inside of me”
He slowly enters me completely and doesn’t move. He pushes his arms up so he’s hovering over me “Do you feel that Elle, do you feel my cock deep within you? This is how deep you are within me. You are so deep within me Elle, I can’t find a way to get you out.” He begins to pull out; I bow towards him and close my eyes. “I want your eyes Elle” I wrap my arms around his neck and bring my mouth up to his. I lock eyes with him as my lips barely touch his; I ask the same questions he asked me that night, seventeen years ago; “Tell me you need me TJ” he kisses me as he begins to speed up his thrusting “Elleny, I need you so much baby. I can’t function without you. For seventeen years I’ve been sleeping then you were brought back to me and now I’m finally awake” He’s now thrusting in and out of me faster, his breathing is speeding up. “Tell me what you want TJ, describe it” “I want you beside me for the rest of my life, when I wake up, when I go to sleep. I want you to give me babies and I want to be able to share with you this love that is overflowing inside me.” I begin to tense, I feel my orgasm building. I know he feels it too because he begins to moan and starts telling me “Fuck baby you’re squeezing me so fucking tight, I’m gonna come.” He thrusts twice, three more times filling me up with every drop of him. He eventually stops moving and just stays inside of me. “Can I tell you something and please…don’t get mad or upset” TJ pushes himself back up again and he rolls his eyes at me “Yes, but hurry before I change my mind” I take a breath “When Bear was pushing himself in my mouth he kept asking me if I liked the taste of what real love was but it was the most disgusting taste I’ve ever tasted in my life. Love shouldn’t be disgusting and nasty….should it?” Looking me in the face I could see he didn’t set himself up for a question like that, he gently pulled himself out of me and bent back down so that his face was between my legs again. He began licking and tongue-fucking me, moaning again so sexy and erotic. It was beautiful. Then he came back over me and looked me in the eyes “Give me your mouth babe” I gave him my mouth. He stuck his tongue in. I could taste a part of him mixed with what must be a part of me and it wasn’t bad. It was sweet yet salty and had just a hint of bitterness. I swirled my tongue in his mouth to taste more of our combination. He broke the kiss “Do you taste that Elleny? That’s what real love tastes like. Pure, uncorrupted, virtuous, UNTAINTED. That’s what straight- from-your-fucking-soul-love tastes like. You got me?”
He wiped the tear from my face and licked it off his thumb as he whispered “Let me put you back together. Babe, you’re not broken your just damaged. Remember… bendable….not breakable” he says as he kisses my nose. I turn my head from him and say quietly “TJ, there’s so much that you don’t know. Things that are shattering.” “Then when the time is right we’ll get through it…..Let me heal you Elle” I closed my eyes and lay my head against his and think the words….out loud “OK”
Personal Experiences is the story of Elly. It starts out with her happy and so in love with her long time boyfriend TJ. TJ has loved Elly since the second grade. Even told her once that they would be married one day.
Well when Elly recieves some unexpected news that she is pregnant she starts making one bad decision after another.She doesn't want to tie TJ down to the town they grew up in. She wants him to have his dreams. So Bear their other long time friend (also since second grade), comes up with a plan to help Elly. He agrees to marry her and raise the baby as his.
When Elly agrees my heart broke for TJ. I knew she was making the wrong decision, but I didn't realieze how bad a choice she was making at the time.
I have to warn you, Personal Experiences is not for everyone. There is graphic scenes of abuse and rape. Elly is really put through it. Bear is an awful person. The way he treated her, just broke me. Bear is the epitome of evil. Elly endures seventeen years of torture. She is much stronger then she thinks she is. She is made to believe she is nothing. Yet, she is trapped there in that marriage with that awful man because she is scared Bear will run off with her kids. Being a mother and survivor of abuse I totally understand her reasoning for staying. Elly does have a strong support system with her best friends Rachel and Lilly. These girls are awesome I LOVED how they were their for Elly.
When Elly and TJ meet up seventeen years later their chemistry is HOT as ever. You can see TJ still really loves Elly so much. Elly believes she is to tainted for him. Oh my how i lOVED TJ, he is such a sweet, caring, sexy man. He wants Elly back and stops at nothing to have her. When he discovers the things she has been hiding it just breaks him. It broke my heart when he finds out about the abuse that Elly has went through. He really took it hard. Then when he finds out that the twins are his, he is PISSED at her for keeping them from him for all these years. He has missed their whole lives.
I don't want to give to much of the story away so I'll just say you need to read Personal Experiences NOW!!! Just be prepared it is a gut wretching book. You will cry and be shocked by the violence. I felt a full range of emotions from being angry to happiness. Let me also say that TJ and Elly had some smoking HOT scenes between them. Tracy Lee has given us an AWESOME debut novel. I gave Personal Experiences 5 stars, but would give it more if i could. AWESOME BOOK!!!
Being a stay at home mom she became an avid reader and part-time blogger; she decided to put the three of them together and try her hand at writing and fell in love. In between running kids from band practice to PTO meetings, she enjoys her “me time” working on her next book. She thoroughly enjoys head-banging heavy metal and a kickass game of Black Ops and will be your slave if you offer her chocolate.
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